The Death Paradox

“If you do not change direction, you may just end up where you are heading”
-Lao Tzu

Quite often there’s a question that will meander through the back of my mind. ‘Why do people knowingly harm themselves?’

Cheeseburgers and fries, chips and pop, coffee and cigarettes, drugs and alcohol...Why do we continue? Why do we indulge? Indulgence will never diminish desire. So...why can’t we stop?

For years and years I knew for the most part how to eat healthy yet it took being diagnosed with diabetes before I changed my eating habits. So...why? Why does it take the realization of early or certain death to stare us in the face before we change? Why the dichotomy? If we know better, why don’t we do better? What level of rational are we flirting with when we can consciously put something in our hand and then consciously put it to mouth when we are fully aware of what it will do?

I don’t believe its ignorance...people are informed, well...as much as they chose to be.

Is it laziness? It could be...I believe the majority of people are lazy. But I don’t think people would consciously choose a lifestyle that would personally harm them just because they were lazy.

Is it ‘no time’ because of a full schedule? Maybe...I have heard this reason from a lot of people. Everyone does have a full schedule these days and eating healthy can be time consuming and sometimes inconvenient. At times it does feel like a part time job. But with very minimal planning I have not had a problem since I started the diet because of ‘no time’.

What about pleasure over pain? I believe that this could be one of the biggest reasons for the death paradox. A lot of self-indulgence gives us immediate pleasure. The problem is we think if we were to go without what gives us pleasure, we will suffer...somehow.

Have you heard of mass or collective consciousness? I kind of like the idea of mass consciousness. The world moves in a mass consciousness just like a school of fish or a flock of birds. If you have ever watched a flock of blackbirds flying you will notice they all turn simultaneously. They all turn at once...together as ‘one mind’. This is beautiful to watch, but sometimes the birds on the far outside are about to hit a tree and have to break off from the ‘one mind’ in order to preserve life. This is what my experience was. I was moving with the mass consciousness of everyday life of burgers and pizza when the tree (diabetes) kind of came out of nowhere and I had to break away from the flock. It was either move in a different direction or hit the tree.

Now what about life expectancy? If you ask people what they believe their life expectancy is...they will give you an answer. My bet is...that it is a pretty accurate one. A lot of people do not want to live, or don’t believe they can, live past what they ‘believe’ is their own life expectancy. I believe if you change your idea of what your life expectancy is, then the eating habits would change.

What about on a subconscious level of wanting to go “Home”? To some people, the earth mind/body experience is about suffering and that it’s in the spirit world where you are at peace. I’m not sure about that one because to me, it is beyond the mystery of death.

Fear of change? Most people resist change because it’s unpredictable and might cause pain. But then that brings us back to the pleasure over pain. As long as right now I have pleasure there is no need for change.

And let’s not forget low self worth...’why should I take care of myself? I’m not worth it anyway’

But with all these ideas aside, what I realize now is I don’t choose a healthy lifestyle because it will add years to my life. Why should I be concerned with health when birth has brought me to a life where death is inevitable? The worst that can happen is I will complete what life has promised. Death will always have its way, but until then, life ‘is’ to be lived. What I mean is to choose to ‘be alive’ while here on earth. Believe me...if changing to a healthy diet and lifestyle only adds years to my life by allowing me to live to 82 instead of 72 then trust me...today...I’m having cheesecake. A healthy lifestyle is not about having more ‘tomorrows’. It’s about having the ultimate ‘today’. By doing acts of self-love I feel alive today. I can open the door to life and I can truly feel the sunshine on my face.

Do you have any thoughts or ideas on this? I would love to hear from you. I can be reached at (e-mail)